[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.2s] Flint was staring down the horde of zombies having just killed Nergoth Bladelord.
[6.8s] Are they running or shambling?
[8.2s] They're not slow, but they're definitely not running.
[11.4s] I don't know what that means.
[12.5s] Guys, we've got three options.
[13.7s] Zombie horde, don't know, more drakes.
[15.5s] Or do you guys just want to run?
[16.8s] Let's fucking run.
[17.9s] You all begin to book it.
[19.4s] Nularaaaa, you make room.
[21.0s] As you carry forward, you see members of the cult of the dragon that you are now charging towards.
[27.2s] Guys, we just need to keep them busy till our horde of zombies is here to help us.
[31.0s] You four pile through them, knocking them to the side.
[34.9s] Nularaaaa, you turn to see the eyes of a dragon looking right at you.
[39.8s] As you clear the hallway, lightning comes down the hallway and strikes the remaining cultists.
[45.9s] I think we just want to keep heading deeper towards the center.
[49.6s] Flint, as you and Nularaaaa move the last boulder,
[52.8s] you realize that the light source is coming from a monstrous building.
[59.5s] Screams and roars come from over the edges as another blair of the Drakorn sounds.
[66.4s] And you are looking at the Temple of Tiamat.
[73.7s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[75.6s] We're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast.
[78.2s] And I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More.
[80.0s] And with me today is Amy More.
[83.0s] I'm Amy More. I play Thea Amastasia.
[85.4s] And the thing that bugs me the most is when I step in a puddle with socks on,
[90.6s] nothing enrages me more.
[92.4s] I feel like that was pointed. Also with me, Carla Johnson.
[96.1s] I am Carla Johnson. I play Nularaaaa Moonbrook.
[99.3s] I just try not to let the like petty bothers of day-to-day life like really get me down,
[106.5s] you know, and try to like just stay really positive all the time.
[113.0s] It's pretty cute.
[114.8s] That's what I mean. That's not true.
[116.2s] I get irritated about everything all the time,
[118.3s] but I just want to tease Amy because I love her.
[120.9s] And Tom Laird.
[123.0s] Yeah, that's me.
[125.0s] I play Flip Firebeard and I'm straight up 100% with Amy on this one.
[130.4s] Let's get into it.
[132.6s] Puddles on the floor, socks, fuck, just the worst.
[137.6s] See, Paisley's on.
[139.0s] Paisley agrees.
[140.4s] Which is our new podcast called What Did You Step In?
[142.7s] Each week, we delve into what we stepped in this week.
[151.8s] I stepped in a lot of snow yesterday because I hiked up to Heart Lake.
[154.6s] And let me tell you, there's a lot of snow up there.
[158.4s] Fair enough.
[159.9s] So, that's bad.
[164.3s] Russ was just kidding, but now we're doing it.
[165.6s] No, guys, I didn't really want to.
[168.0s] I stepped onto a baseball field.
[170.8s] I didn't step into it, but I stepped onto it.
[173.0s] So that was fun.
[173.5s] We had an informal softball practice.
[175.9s] You know what?
[176.3s] Sexy pitches back at it.
[177.5s] That's right.
[178.0s] Cut off our stepped in podcast here.
[181.1s] And if you want more of this stepped in podcast,
[183.7s] you got to visit us over on Patreon where we might
[186.0s] talk about what we stepped in in one of the Goo Kangs.
[188.7s] So look forward to that coming up, everybody.
[192.4s] Whenever that is.
[193.7s] But Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[195.8s] You can come over there and check out what we've got going on
[198.7s] and what we've got going on.
[200.0s] It's a great community that you can be part of for anywhere
[203.0s] from a dollar up a month.
[205.8s] You can get some great bonus rewards and tears.
[209.4s] No, great rewards, bonus content at different tiers.
[214.9s] There it is.
[215.5s] That was a struggle.
[217.0s] You got there, though.
[218.6s] Good for you.
[219.8s] It was tough.
[220.6s] Sorry.
[221.1s] Sorry, everybody.
[222.6s] We also dedicate an episode to a patron.
[225.4s] And today's patron is Devin Michaels.
[228.7s] Hey, thanks, Devin.
[229.5s] Hey, thanks, Devin.
[230.8s] Devin, you're the best.
[232.6s] Thank you, Devin.
[233.2s] Two first names again.
[234.4s] First names again.
[235.1s] Yeah.
[235.8s] Because sometimes we had a previous patron who had two first names,
[239.9s] like a first name for his last name.
[241.0s] You know, all those people named Michaels has a first name.
[245.2s] Yeah.
[246.4s] Yeah.
[251.8s] How many people do you know named Michaels?
[253.6s] Almost.
[255.0s] So close.
[256.1s] I mean, there's that.
[258.7s] That's all I have to say.
[262.9s] That's my whole defense.
[264.9s] It's so close.
[267.7s] You two are like Mario there for a second.
[271.7s] I was so close.
[273.0s] It's me.
[273.7s] I was so close.
[276.9s] That's good.
[281.6s] And yet, you were so close.
[284.6s] So Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[287.4s] So close.
[288.2s] So close.
[289.8s] Can this episode be called so close?
[292.5s] I guess it depends what turns out.
[294.3s] It depends.
[296.3s] We die this episode.
[301.3s] Almost made it to TMS.
[302.6s] Almost.
[303.8s] A new host rule.
[304.9s] I think if anyone rolls like a crit fail,
[307.0s] they have to immediately say, so close.
[315.4s] At least today.
[316.6s] Yes, at least today's session.
[318.0s] We'll obviously forget after today.
[319.8s] We can't even remember how to play the game
[322.8s] from week to week.
[323.7s] We certainly can't remember jokes from week to week.
[327.3s] Speaking of which, fuck it.
[328.5s] Let's play D&D.
[342.0s] You four step out of this caved in entryway.
[349.0s] Into the caldera of the well of the dragons.
[355.5s] You look and you see over the rubble ahead of you.
[360.0s] The peak of twisting cornices reaching up
[366.8s] of the five towers of the temple of Tiamat.
[372.4s] You look to the sky and you see
[375.7s] a swirling storm and cyclone that has built
[380.6s] since you went into the volcano.
[384.6s] You see metallic and chromatic dragons
[387.7s] tearing each other apart in the sky.
[393.3s] Roars and calls and screams of battle
[398.6s] surround you, bouncing off the walls of the volcano.
[405.4s] I'm going to change back into my regular as I say.
[414.6s] Holy shit, you guys.
[416.5s] Yeah, that about sums it up.
[420.0s] At least we're heading in the right direction.
[423.0s] We've got to be, right?
[424.4s] Yeah, I mean, if this isn't where we want to be,
[426.3s] then I don't know where we want to be.
[428.7s] Agreed.
[429.8s] I mean, I don't want to be here.
[431.3s] Oh, no, that's not what I meant.
[432.6s] To be clear.
[433.8s] To finish the job, we need to be here.
[436.6s] Yeah, yeah.
[440.2s] Well, guys, let's finish the job.
[445.0s] Do we see, like you basically described,
[451.4s] it's a big tower, but with five towers, I think, right?
[454.5s] Yeah, so you just kind of see the peaks right now
[456.6s] because you're kind of down in a collapsed portion of the volcano.
[460.3s] So you can't really see the full scope of the tower
[465.2s] from where you are.
[467.0s] If you so desired, you could move somewhere to do that.
[471.5s] Actually, I think we live here now.
[475.6s] See, this is what I'm asking.
[477.2s] All right, so you set up a homestay.
[480.2s] That's what I was wondering if, like,
[482.2s] so we've kind of cleared all this rubble,
[484.2s] we've made it through, and like,
[486.7s] are we on the exterior of a building
[488.8s] or do we, like, see paths or, like,
[491.5s] what is in our immediate vicinity
[493.7s] as opposed to just, like, the scale of the battle beyond?
[498.9s] You are in a collapsed pit.
[502.9s] So what you see is just rubble from rock and...
[508.2s] Oh, we're in a hole.
[509.3s] You're in a hole.
[509.8s] Yeah, we're in a hole.
[510.6s] You guys, we have to climb around in this hole.
[512.0s] I'm trying to fancy describe this hole.
[513.8s] No, it was too fancy.
[515.4s] But I should just say you're in a hole.
[516.9s] Don't be too fancy for us.
[518.5s] Russ, you never need to fancy describe a hole.
[520.2s] I didn't get it.
[521.1s] Fair enough.
[521.4s] No, for the love of God, we're like...
[524.2s] What kind of special area are we in?
[525.9s] You're not, you guys.
[527.6s] You dug yourselves into a hole.
[528.8s] Nice job.
[530.1s] Can I carefully clamber to the top
[532.6s] and just peer over in a sneaky way
[535.6s] because we don't know what's up there.
[537.7s] How deep is the hole we're in?
[539.7s] The hole itself is quite large, like,
[542.7s] longest point, like 150 feet,
[546.4s] widest part, almost 100 feet.
[549.6s] Less of a hole more of a crater, then?
[551.5s] Well, yeah.
[552.2s] It's a very large volcano.
[553.3s] What a big old hole.
[554.7s] I tried to fancy describe it
[556.0s] because it was more than a hole,
[557.2s] but you just hear that it was a hole.
[559.0s] You guys are in a little more than a hole.
[562.1s] Ah, yes, I get it.
[563.5s] You're in a collapsed crater within a volcano.
[566.3s] When anybody would like to begin walking up,
[570.0s] it would be considered difficult terrain
[571.8s] for those that that affects.
[573.4s] So a dexterity athletics roll.
[577.4s] So it's obviously a fairly steep sides out.
[580.5s] What if we used a ladder?
[583.5s] Does anyone, does anyone have a ladder?
[586.3s] If only someone had a ladder.
[589.2s] If only someone had a rod of lordly might.
[592.8s] Wait a minute, guys.
[595.4s] I can help us out here with this here ladder.
[598.8s] Flint, it's genius.
[600.5s] I love it.
[601.5s] Well, let's do it.
[602.6s] You know, this ladder is coming real handy
[604.3s] a bunch of times.
[606.4s] This always makes me feel like a fucking hero
[608.4s] to have this thing.
[610.3s] So I press the.
[611.0s] It's so big too.
[612.4s] I press the corresponding rod button
[614.8s] and extend it into ladder form.
[617.0s] Do you say something like go go gadget ladder?
[619.1s] I don't believe I've ever said anything for it,
[621.2s] but make ladder go now.
[628.0s] That new intellect headband is really working out.
[630.1s] It's really good.
[631.1s] It's bringing you all those real good words.
[635.6s] You begin scaling up the ladder
[639.5s] and you it takes a quick minute,
[642.6s] but you get to the top of the hole that you're in
[646.9s] and you are now on the edge
[649.2s] and you look out before you
[651.2s] and the caldera is blanketed beneath bones
[655.8s] of hundreds of dead dragons.
[658.3s] But that is not the most arresting feature.
[663.1s] A mind numbing structure that you saw the peak of
[667.0s] looks like it has pushed up beneath the tangled bones
[670.2s] to tower above the blasted volcano.
[674.2s] Partly volcanic ash fused with dragon bones
[676.9s] and partly stone imbued with the dark magic
[680.0s] of the nine hells itself.
[681.7s] The temple of Tiamat is all chaotic angles
[685.5s] and jutting buttresses.
[689.9s] Within that snarl of cornices and soaring angulation
[693.4s] you make out five asymmetric towers
[696.5s] topped by twisting steeples
[698.7s] and you see landing atop those towers
[702.3s] one of each of the different five colored chromatic dragons.
[708.6s] Do they see us?
[710.5s] Yeah, are these living dragons
[711.9s] or are they like sculptures built in
[713.8s] at the top of the towers?
[716.2s] No, sorry, they are just landing.
[720.3s] They are alive.
[721.7s] You are kind of hidden among different bones and stones
[727.7s] so they have not seen you directly as of this moment.
[731.0s] Well, I guess, yeah, dragon bones, huge.
[734.2s] Yeah, the scale of this place is enormous.
[738.4s] It feels so tiny.
[740.2s] All we know is that this was the way
[742.8s] to where they're doing the ceremony.
[745.8s] Not particularly helpful now that we've arrived here
[749.0s] outside this fucking monstrosity.
[753.3s] What do you want to do?
[754.5s] Should we just try to make our way to the tower?
[756.8s] I mean, if there's a sacrifice going on,
[759.8s] couldn't it be there?
[761.0s] Yep, I mean, certainly that's the direction
[763.0s] we need to go sneakily.
[765.8s] Let's go in that direction.
[769.8s] Everybody make a stealth check.
[772.6s] Do I have to make a stealth check for my owl?
[775.4s] Yep.
[777.4s] Yeah, how's Guacamole getting around
[780.6s] now that you're out in the open?
[781.8s] Just like walking carefully.
[784.2s] Just on her tippy toes, real slow.
[787.4s] I rolled for myself.
[791.1s] Were you so close?
[793.1s] I was so close.
[794.3s] I rolled an eight plus one.
[797.1s] Okay.
[799.4s] So nine, oh god, and Guacamole got a five,
[803.3s] oh plus four, so she got a nine.
[805.6s] There we go.
[806.4s] It would have been better.
[809.0s] Those aren't sneaky rolls, you guys.
[810.8s] I got a 16 with Flint.
[812.1s] Don't walk near me, I'm super loud.
[814.7s] I got a 12 and Donnie got a 13.
[818.9s] You, not so quietly for the most part,
[823.0s] are kind of climbing through these bones
[825.5s] and around large boulders that have broken free.
[830.0s] You are about 200 feet from the tower,
[834.7s] so you are trying very hard to stay hidden
[838.6s] from the Chromatic Dragons
[840.3s] who seem to now be turning towards
[842.7s] one side of the tower
[844.9s] that is away from your direction.
[848.5s] As you continue to get closer,
[850.3s] you hear orders quietly being called
[854.6s] from around the far side of the temple
[857.6s] the closer you get.
[859.7s] And as these orders are being called,
[861.8s] you see the five Chromatic Dragons
[865.0s] leap up into the sky
[866.7s] and begin circling the location.
[870.2s] Double cheeseburger, fries, no ketchup.
[874.2s] Oh, it's the dragon drive-through, of course.
[876.6s] I'm sorry, I'm stressed out right now.
[879.3s] Yep.
[880.2s] There are so many big things.
[882.4s] As they are soaring around,
[883.8s] you hear another blast of the Drakorn
[885.8s] that echoes off the walls
[887.7s] of the inside of the volcano.
[889.8s] Can I use my lucky loo
[892.2s] to see if I can see what they're circling
[894.2s] with a little more clarity?
[896.9s] Or is it blocked out by the tower?
[898.9s] From what you can gauge
[900.6s] by what you can hear
[901.8s] from where the orders are coming from,
[903.0s] it's coming around the far side
[904.5s] of the tower itself.
[906.1s] Okay.
[906.5s] So if you were to see them,
[908.1s] you would have to physically walk around.
[910.2s] Yeah, that doesn't sound great.
[911.3s] We should just get to where we're going then.
[913.4s] Yeah.
[914.5s] You kind of keep an eye on them,
[916.7s] and they are circling,
[917.9s] getting lower and lower
[920.3s] to the one side of the tower.
[923.7s] And you have made it
[924.9s] to the side of the tower.
[928.1s] And is there a conveniently placed door?
[930.6s] Not at your current position.
[933.0s] Too bad.
[934.6s] Any windows?
[936.1s] I mean, I've often heard
[937.1s] that if there isn't a door,
[938.2s] sometimes there's a window that might be open.
[939.8s] Sometimes there's a window.
[940.8s] Yeah.
[941.4s] Very high up in the tower,
[943.7s] there appear to be slats
[946.0s] that could be construed as windows.
[948.2s] Could, are they like
[949.5s] human body size sneak through slats?
[952.5s] It's very high up.
[953.5s] It's hard to tell exactly how wide they are,
[955.7s] but they would probably be very big.
[959.1s] How high up is very high up?
[961.8s] The tower itself is probably
[964.7s] three to 400 feet tall.
[967.8s] And these windows are?
[969.8s] Somewhere kind of mid-range there,
[971.5s] so 100 to 150 feet.
[973.7s] You guys want to hop on Guacamole's back
[975.4s] and fly up to one of those windows?
[978.8s] I'm a little reticent to fly up
[981.4s] with the dragons flying around.
[983.9s] Seems like that would make us more visible.
[988.9s] That's a fair point.
[989.7s] Yeah, you're probably right.
[993.2s] Okay, should we continue
[995.3s] to walk around the side of the tower essentially?
[999.8s] There's got to be a way in somewhere, right?
[1003.6s] Or do dragons just fly in the top?
[1005.6s] Maybe.
[1006.1s] Oh, could be like a helicopter pad.
[1010.2s] Yeah, but someone has to do...
[1012.1s] The cultists got to get in and out, right?
[1014.9s] I don't know a lot about dragon architecture.
[1019.4s] Sure.
[1020.5s] But what else are we going to do
[1022.0s] other than pick left or right and go that way?
[1025.0s] Yeah, so they're kind of on the other side
[1028.6s] of the tower from us, Russ, correct?
[1030.3s] Yes, that is what you are making out.
[1032.9s] Okay, so it would be like whichever way we went,
[1036.2s] it would be essentially the same distance
[1037.7s] or are we shaded to one side more than the other?
[1040.4s] Because if we go around the side
[1041.9s] that they're like furthest away from us,
[1045.1s] that gives us more time to go around
[1047.1s] without being discovered in theory.
[1050.2s] Yeah, if you were to say go right,
[1054.5s] you would probably be closer than if you went left,
[1058.6s] like you would reach their location quicker
[1060.8s] than if you went left around the building.
[1062.6s] Long way around is left.
[1064.2s] Well, my legs are tired.
[1065.5s] Let's go right ways.
[1068.2s] I came to the opposite conclusion.
[1069.9s] Me too.
[1070.5s] I was thinking let's not go
[1072.1s] where the troops seem to be amassing.
[1074.0s] Let's go the other way around.
[1076.2s] Oh, okay.
[1077.0s] Let's go that way.
[1078.2s] Where maybe we can stay a little more hidden
[1080.6s] for a few more minutes.
[1082.0s] Yes, no, that's better.
[1083.9s] Thea doesn't strategize.
[1085.6s] My dogs are barking, guys.
[1087.0s] Let's hit right to it.
[1089.5s] The dragons don't kill me.
[1090.7s] My feet will.
[1092.5s] These boots are murder.
[1095.4s] You begin walking and you hear a couple things.
[1101.7s] Above the orders, you hear screams forming.
[1104.8s] You see the dragons begin to stop circling
[1110.6s] and they begin to soar down to the volcano floor.
[1116.3s] You also hear a loud cracking boom from off in the distance.
[1123.7s] If you look, you see clouds beginning to push and make way.
[1132.2s] Before we walk any further, I say,
[1134.4s] okay, guys, so something I was just thinking
[1137.7s] because you guys are so good at the strategy stuff
[1139.7s] and everything, but here's something
[1142.8s] we just haven't tried before.
[1144.2s] I'm just going to throw it out there.
[1145.7s] What if from a place of hiding where I can see people,
[1150.6s] before we like get into the thick of it,
[1153.6s] I can like hurt them with some of my ranged spells?
[1158.6s] I love it.
[1159.3s] It's a great idea.
[1160.6s] You know, just open up maybe some moon beam
[1163.6s] or blight some bitches or something,
[1166.5s] but they won't see me or you guys
[1169.4s] and we'll have a bit of an advantage.
[1171.4s] Yeah.
[1171.8s] I mean, like I think that's a real good plan.
[1174.3s] I don't know why we've never thought of it before.
[1176.6s] I don't know why it took me this long,
[1180.6s] but you know what?
[1181.9s] I'm here where it counts.
[1183.9s] I mean, I think where we are right now,
[1186.0s] we're kind of exposed.
[1188.1s] So I think unless there's no other solution,
[1190.8s] that might be plan B and maybe finding a way
[1193.7s] in this tower stealthily might be good.
[1196.9s] Oh, no, no, for sure.
[1198.0s] We still need to get in here,
[1199.2s] but I think like if we get in here
[1201.8s] and we see people before they see us
[1203.8s] and I forget my plan,
[1205.8s] I've told you guys that this is a viable option for us.
[1210.9s] Let's go.
[1211.9s] So you're continuing along your path.
[1213.7s] And we do that real sneaky walk that they do in cartoons.
[1217.4s] All right.
[1217.7s] So super slow.
[1219.0s] Yeah.
[1219.2s] All right.
[1221.0s] So at that pace, you're going to be walking
[1223.5s] for kind of a long time.
[1225.4s] Well, we do it a little faster.
[1226.4s] I mean, a little bit faster.
[1227.5s] Normal pace.
[1229.5s] Yes.
[1230.0s] Yep.
[1230.4s] Got it.
[1231.3s] Okay.
[1231.7s] So you continue your trek around the building
[1234.8s] as you get closer to where you assumed
[1237.9s] the dragons landed or were circling.
[1242.9s] These screams become more intense.
[1245.4s] Are they human screams?
[1247.3s] Uh, one could presume.
[1249.1s] Yep.
[1250.2s] Are they screaming things or just general like, ah?
[1254.0s] Just general screams of perhaps pain and or agony.
[1258.4s] If you were to roll an insight,
[1260.0s] I'd give it to you because it'd be pretty low.
[1263.1s] 13.
[1263.6s] Yep.
[1264.1s] Definite pain and or agony and or fear.
[1268.0s] I'll give you a fear for that one too.
[1269.8s] Can we tell which kind of direction
[1271.7s] the screams are coming from
[1272.9s] or are they just kind of at the tower
[1275.4s] and that's all we can tell.
[1277.5s] Because of the tricks,
[1279.6s] you can kind of hear them all around you,
[1281.4s] but it's also from the direction
[1283.2s] that you were walking
[1284.4s] close to where the dragons had landed.
[1288.9s] Okay.
[1290.1s] I mean, those screams sound like they could be maybe.
[1295.4s] Sacrifices?
[1296.4s] Yeah, yeah, some sacrifices.
[1299.0s] Stands to reason.
[1300.6s] So maybe we go see what we can see.
[1304.6s] And I mean, I do have that looky-loo
[1306.6s] if we're still far away.
[1308.2s] You continue to walk,
[1309.8s] taking a glance around every corner as you go.
[1314.4s] And you come to the final tower to walk around
[1319.2s] as you have kind of counted them out
[1321.1s] as you have been going around.
[1323.4s] And you look who looks around the corner
[1326.5s] or do you kind of go three heads at a time there?
[1329.8s] Three students.
[1330.1s] Shotgun lowest head.
[1332.9s] Stands to reason.
[1334.2s] Middle head?
[1335.5s] I'm the tallest?
[1336.6s] You are the tallest.
[1338.2s] Comedic style.
[1340.2s] You poke your heads out
[1341.4s] and you look to see people being tossed
[1343.9s] into the air into dragons' mouths
[1346.7s] and a group of them
[1348.6s] surrounded by the five chromatic dragons.
[1354.0s] How big of a group are we seeing?
[1355.7s] How many people in this group?
[1358.0s] And how are they being thrown into,
[1359.6s] like the dragons are grabbing them
[1361.0s] and throwing them up
[1361.7s] and catching them up like popcorn?
[1363.0s] Oh, they're playing with them like orcas play with seals.
[1367.7s] You and I, Carla, made the same face
[1369.8s] as soon as he said that we were both like.
[1372.7s] Yeah.
[1374.4s] You see, well, at this point
[1376.6s] there probably looks to be about 20 people remaining.
[1381.1s] But does it seem,
[1381.9s] it doesn't sound like it seems ritualistic,
[1384.2s] but does it seem ritualistic
[1385.8s] or the dragons are just being like hungry
[1388.2s] and fucking gross?
[1389.3s] I mean, they are surrounded in a specific order.
[1393.9s] I mean, in defense of the dragons,
[1395.7s] if you put a hungry tom in front of a pizza,
[1398.2s] it's going to get gross.
[1402.1s] You could probably infer
[1403.4s] that these are the sacrifices.
[1406.8s] OK.
[1407.8s] Well, I mean, feed people
[1409.7s] to five different dragons.
[1413.4s] I guess I was like in my mind
[1415.4s] I was picturing like priests doing ritualism.
[1418.6s] Ritualistic murders.
[1419.8s] Temple of doom type stuff.
[1421.1s] As opposed to carving things on their bodies.
[1423.5s] Calima, yeah.
[1424.6s] Yeah, what not.
[1426.4s] But yeah, I mean, it makes sense.
[1427.9s] Five dragons eating people.
[1430.0s] Like.
[1432.2s] It all tracks.
[1433.3s] Do we know anything about this ritual?
[1437.1s] Because I worked in a library.
[1439.4s] OK, roll a library check.
[1442.1s] My dice is going to be in time.
[1443.9s] Arcana or history?
[1446.6s] No.
[1447.9s] It's a 12.
[1449.9s] It's a 15.
[1455.0s] Do I know that here?
[1456.4s] So here's my specific piece of information
[1458.3s] I'm looking for.
[1459.3s] Do I know that the sacrifices
[1462.1s] have to be living before ingested by the dragons?
[1466.0s] I'm about to get Machiavellian on this shit.
[1468.6s] No, I was thinking the same thing.
[1470.1s] Like if we kill the people, are we helping them
[1472.6s] or are we stopping them?
[1474.3s] Yeah, that's my question.
[1475.5s] Like, oh, yay, they're all dead.
[1477.2s] Thank you for coming in and doing that.
[1479.1s] Or because I did work in a library.
[1482.1s] She's got those library powers.
[1483.9s] Dragons are my favorite enemy.
[1485.6s] Maybe I have like, I mean, you think
[1487.1s] we would learn as much as there was to learn.
[1489.1s] I have a dragonborn in my head.
[1490.7s] Maybe he knows something.
[1493.2s] Everybody fucking roll.
[1494.3s] I'm going to give you something here.
[1495.8s] But I'm just trying to think how to phrase it.
[1498.8s] OK.
[1499.5s] From your readings and from your inner head
[1501.9s] and from your just general knowledge about dragons.
[1505.0s] They prefer to eat things alive.
[1507.3s] But the ritual itself does not necessarily dictate
[1511.9s] alive or dead.
[1513.6s] Although sacrifices generally means things
[1516.7s] have to be alive first.
[1519.7s] But it does not specify if they were to die
[1523.7s] by a third party and then if the dragons
[1526.3s] were to eat them.
[1527.9s] There's not no subtext or...
[1529.9s] There's no footnote.
[1531.5s] No footnote there.
[1533.1s] As they might not have run into that yet.
[1535.6s] It will be in version 2.0 next millennia.
[1540.7s] So this definitely doesn't seem just kind of
[1543.1s] like an as animalistic as I first pictured
[1546.0s] in my head.
[1546.7s] It's more like calculated.
[1548.5s] Yeah, guys, I was really hoping
[1551.9s] that there was going to be a way for us
[1553.5s] to not have to try and fight five dragons.
[1556.2s] Yep.
[1556.7s] Anybody coming up with anything?
[1559.2s] Um, can we sneak by these dragons somehow
[1562.3s] that are busy eating these people?
[1564.3s] Sorry people.
[1565.3s] But I mean, in order for a ritual to happen
[1567.5s] there's got to be some magic,
[1569.5s] some magic casters somewhere.
[1572.7s] There has to be some sorcerers or wizards
[1576.3s] or somebody.
[1578.7s] At that moment you hear the same crushing crack
[1583.5s] come from the same direction
[1585.3s] as where you saw something rolling
[1587.3s] amidst the clouds.
[1590.3s] And you turn and you see a massive ice fortress.
[1597.6s] This is a fucking ice giant's castle?
[1599.9s] A flying ice fortress?
[1603.2s] Floating down through the clouds.
[1607.7s] And it crashes into the lip of the volcano.
[1611.3s] And is basically charging across the floor
[1615.6s] of the volcano.
[1617.6s] The dragons turn to look and see this
[1620.4s] and they throw as many people up in the air
[1625.2s] as they can and begin flying towards it.
[1629.9s] You see a board, you see frost giants
[1633.5s] readying weapons and waiting for the iceberg
[1637.9s] to slow down.
[1639.3s] For the iceberg to slow down.
[1649.9s] Well, hello there.
[1650.8s] Welcome to the middle part.
[1652.1s] It's us.
[1653.9s] People you were just listening to previously.
[1657.3s] Yeah, just a few seconds ago.
[1659.3s] I love that we haven't figured out
[1660.7s] like the proper way to get into these yet.
[1663.1s] I mean, I had it.
[1664.3s] I had it down 70 episodes.
[1667.2s] We just showed up and just flipped the table.
[1669.5s] And then I was like, hey guys, come on in.
[1672.7s] And now it's just not there.
[1674.3s] You know what else you might've seen
[1675.4s] on our social feeds?
[1676.3s] That we got a big old invite to Hollywood.
[1680.9s] Hollywood.
[1683.9s] And by we all, I mean two of us.
[1686.3s] So Amy and I are going.
[1687.9s] Sorry, Tom.
[1688.5s] Oh, it's all right.
[1689.5s] I would have loved to go.
[1690.7s] But as it turned out, I already had vacation plans
[1693.5s] in that exact same time period.
[1695.1s] So I'm not missing out too badly.
[1698.8s] Carla's got that wedding she's planning.
[1700.7s] We're the only ones who have enough free time.
[1703.2s] Not enough on our social platter as it were
[1706.1s] to be unavailable for this event.
[1709.5s] But what is this event?
[1710.8s] This event is D&D Live 2019, The Descent.
[1715.4s] So yeah, we're going to Hollywood
[1716.6s] and we got invited by Wizards of the Coast
[1719.1s] to go play their new module
[1721.5s] with a whole bunch of other great podcasters,
[1724.7s] including the Broad Swords and Venture Maidens
[1727.5s] and Taking Initiative and Drunks and Dragons.
[1731.8s] Oh, there's a whole list.
[1733.1s] So many people, so awesome.
[1735.8s] So much more awesome than us.
[1737.1s] I can't wait to surround myself
[1738.5s] in all that awesomeness.
[1739.8s] You know what?
[1740.1s] I was listening to Drunks and Dragons today.
[1741.8s] They don't listen to us, so they'll never know.
[1743.6s] They were talking about how they're very nervous
[1745.5s] about the live shows.
[1746.7s] So we're nervous about them too.
[1749.3s] So we're just all nervous.
[1751.0s] Speak for yourself.
[1751.9s] I was on stage like the other day and I'm like, yes,
[1755.5s] I need a crowd of people clapping in my life.
[1757.9s] Well, Amy, I feel like if you could roll
[1761.2s] for some sort of performance check
[1762.8s] while you're playing and bring your tap shoes with you,
[1765.3s] I feel like that would really seal the deal
[1767.9s] for whatever you were trying to do in that game.
[1770.1s] Just build it into your character.
[1771.7s] They haven't announced how they're doing characters,
[1773.5s] but just put a little note.
[1775.7s] Also does tap dancing.
[1776.7s] Perfect.
[1777.1s] Yeah.
[1777.5s] You're a bard who tap dances.
[1779.5s] That's your instrument.
[1781.0s] It's my instrument.
[1782.9s] Happy feet, motherfuckers.
[1785.5s] You're a penguin bard who tap dances.
[1787.3s] Sorry, wizards.
[1788.0s] We won't swear.
[1788.6s] We promise.
[1790.3s] Oh, right.
[1791.2s] Yes.
[1791.8s] Gonna have to probably keep it clean.
[1793.5s] It's a family event or something.
[1794.7s] We really shouldn't have sent Amy then.
[1797.2s] Right?
[1797.8s] Oh, God, sorry.
[1800.1s] Anyways, that's in May.
[1802.3s] The 17th, 18th, and 19th,
[1804.3s] if you're gonna be in the Los Angeles
[1805.9s] slash Hollywood area or you live there
[1808.7s] or you're near there,
[1809.9s] you should come see us and hang out with us
[1811.5s] and all that great stuff
[1813.2s] because it's gonna be an amazing event
[1814.4s] and tickets are on sale soon, if not already.
[1817.1s] So check out the website
[1818.3s] that's linked in the description.
[1820.1s] Now we're gonna talk about something different.
[1823.1s] Now for something completely different.
[1825.1s] If you're liking what we're doing
[1826.3s] and maybe you see us in Los Angeles
[1829.2s] and you really like what we've got going on,
[1831.4s] maybe you visit us on Patreon,
[1832.7s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[1834.9s] where you can join the sweet community
[1836.5s] and get some sweet bonus rewards
[1838.6s] for supporting us.
[1840.2s] Like a game that Tom runs,
[1842.1s] a side-scroller.
[1843.6s] So awesome.
[1844.8s] Russ plays a kitty cat.
[1846.7s] Yeah, he does.
[1847.7s] Yeah, I do.
[1848.6s] A chatty cat.
[1851.7s] That's about it.
[1854.6s] There's also other things.
[1855.7s] If you don't want to hear Russ be a chatty cat.
[1860.2s] Final thanks to Sirenscape
[1861.2s] for some of the amazing atmosphere
[1862.6s] in today's episode.
[1863.6s] Make sure you check them out at sirenscape.com
[1865.2s] to bring your games to life.
[1866.4s] And the next episode,
[1867.4s] it'll be out next Wednesday, April 17th.
[1870.5s] So let's get back to it.
[1871.5s] We're getting close to that Tiamat.
[1875.1s] Getting close, nearing the end.
[1878.8s] And close to my birthday.
[1880.6s] Oh, fun.
[1882.8s] A little teaser for next week.
[1884.7s] Have a great week.
[1885.7s] We'll talk soon.
[1892.3s] All right, so they're all distracted.
[1894.6s] It appears to be at the moment, yes.
[1897.5s] And some sacrifices have been left in the middle?
[1900.8s] Not many,
[1901.7s] because there was some talk about things.
[1904.6s] Well, yeah, they threw things.
[1907.3s] I assume they threw as many as they could
[1909.5s] up into the air and then caught and ate them?
[1911.4s] Yeah, oh yeah.
[1911.9s] Okay.
[1912.6s] I just imagine them being like,
[1913.8s] whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
[1914.8s] See you in a few.
[1917.9s] Yeah, there appears to be three to five people
[1921.5s] still left running now.
[1924.0s] Running where?
[1924.9s] Away from the tower.
[1925.8s] I would say anywhere.
[1926.7s] At this point, it's probably better.
[1927.6s] Well, no, I know.
[1928.3s] But if there is like an entrance or something
[1930.3s] from where they were brought into it,
[1932.7s] I'm assuming they weren't brought through
[1935.5s] a hole that they had to take boulders apart
[1939.2s] and then crawl themselves out of a crater
[1941.1s] and then around the end.
[1942.7s] That's how everyone gets in here, Amy.
[1944.4s] I don't think it is.
[1946.3s] Then maybe we could,
[1947.6s] maybe going in that direction,
[1948.9s] we might find some people to kill.
[1952.1s] I don't want to fight dragons, you guys,
[1953.7s] or I'll fucking die.
[1955.9s] Yes.
[1956.5s] You continue to see the people
[1958.3s] running across the volcano
[1960.7s] and from around the tower,
[1962.9s] you see blasts of energy following behind them,
[1968.4s] striking one of them in the back
[1970.0s] as he falls to the ground.
[1972.0s] I mean, now is probably a good time
[1973.4s] to get on Guacamole and ride up somewhere.
[1977.2s] Well, if I follow that blast of energy?
[1981.1s] Did we see a muzzle flare?
[1982.8s] Like, do we know where it came from?
[1984.6s] Didn't appear to be a dragon blast,
[1988.2s] more a magical spell cast.
[1991.5s] I think I could tell that as a spell cast.
[1993.9s] Yeah, no, that's what I'm wondering.
[1996.2s] So we didn't see where it came from.
[1999.0s] It came out from further around the tower
[2001.5s] where you could not see specifically
[2003.4s] who or what casted.
[2005.5s] Well, I mean, let's go fucking see.
[2007.9s] The dragons are as distracted
[2009.5s] as they're gonna get, right?
[2010.6s] Yeah, I guess so.
[2012.3s] You continue to walk around
[2014.0s] and two more blasts go out,
[2015.7s] hitting two more of the people.
[2017.9s] Okay, now we run around.
[2019.5s] You run around and you see
[2021.9s] a massive lit entrance
[2025.8s] to the temple of Tiamat
[2028.0s] and standing at the gate,
[2030.3s] I'm assuming you're peeking around
[2031.9s] rather than just bolting around the corner.
[2033.5s] I'm always peeking.
[2035.1s] Um, you see three red-robed wizards
[2040.3s] standing at the gate.
[2042.3s] Guys, guys, I'm gonna use a spell.
[2045.7s] I'm doing like mad hand gestures.
[2049.4s] One of them casts more spells
[2051.5s] than fires them out at the remaining people
[2053.5s] and two of them begin to turn
[2055.1s] and walk back into the temple.
[2057.5s] I'm gonna cast Stone Skin upon myself.
[2060.2s] Before they exited,
[2061.9s] I was hoping to hit them all
[2063.3s] with Eldritch Blast.
[2064.8s] You can most certainly give it a go.
[2069.1s] Guys, guys, I'm gonna blast them.
[2072.7s] And so...
[2075.8s] One per each.
[2077.3s] Okay, I just feel like
[2079.3s] I had already rolled that
[2080.4s] and it was an 18
[2081.4s] and for some reason
[2082.3s] I just decided to roll again.
[2083.5s] Well, you gotta roll it three times.
[2084.9s] Okay, well, this one's a 15.
[2086.7s] This one's a 26.
[2092.9s] There we go.
[2095.4s] And this one's a 26.
[2097.9s] I peeked around the corner
[2099.5s] and I've essentially just like
[2101.8s] put my fingers out like a
[2102.8s] kkkkkk
[2105.3s] type of motion.
[2107.2s] Thea makes weird cat noises
[2109.1s] and throws Eldritch Blast out.
[2112.4s] The one red wizard who is looking towards you.
[2115.8s] He sees them coming
[2117.6s] and he deflects the one
[2119.7s] that is going to hit him.
[2122.3s] The other two hit the backs
[2125.2s] of the other two red wizards
[2128.1s] and they take
[2130.6s] eight and seven.
[2133.4s] They are struck by these.
[2136.8s] They let out a cry of pain.
[2140.2s] Turn to look
[2141.4s] and the other red wizard yells
[2144.2s] to them to get back inside.
[2147.4s] They run and begin closing the door
[2151.1s] as the red wizard turns
[2153.0s] and continues to run.
[2154.7s] Roll for initiative.
[2157.1s] Guys, I think we're heading inside.
[2159.0s] I got a 12.
[2160.1s] I got a 16.
[2162.5s] I got an 11.
[2165.4s] The two wizards who were running
[2168.2s] for the door
[2168.8s] and beginning to close it
[2169.9s] is their turn
[2170.7s] and they continue to push
[2171.9s] the large heavy doors closed.
[2174.8s] Now it is Flint's turn.
[2176.7s] You are a fair distance
[2178.5s] from anybody
[2181.1s] in terms of travel distance.
[2183.6s] 75 to 100 feet
[2186.3s] from the door.
[2189.0s] All right.
[2190.9s] Can I dash on closer
[2193.5s] to the door as best I can?
[2196.5s] So if you dash
[2197.2s] you're going to move double your speed.
[2199.1s] Yeah.
[2199.6s] So that will get me
[2201.6s] roughly 50 feet away from the door.
[2203.9s] OK.
[2204.5s] And can I see either one
[2206.6s] of the red wizards
[2208.7s] that are attempting to close the door?
[2210.3s] Like, are they visible at all?
[2212.9s] No, they would be more behind the doors
[2217.0s] pushing them closed.
[2220.0s] I know previously, Russ
[2222.8s] that you've been
[2225.4s] in control of when Bort takes over for me.
[2229.9s] Is there a way that I can trigger that
[2232.6s] if I needed to?
[2234.7s] We've never done that before.
[2236.1s] So we're setting new ground right now.
[2239.9s] I'm going to say, yes, we can try it.
[2242.8s] Your new roll DC
[2244.7s] that you've been rolling has been 12.
[2247.3s] OK.
[2247.5s] If you roll under 12
[2249.7s] you become Bort.
[2250.8s] If you roll over 12
[2252.3s] you remain Flint.
[2254.0s] So give me a little narrative
[2257.1s] of Flint Bort
[2260.2s] in the talk to transition
[2262.3s] and see what happens here.
[2264.0s] Yeah, as Flint's running towards that door
[2269.8s] he knows Bort's got some skills
[2271.9s] so he has a little thought bubble above his head.
[2277.1s] Bort, are you ready to take over here for a second?
[2279.7s] I got an idea.
[2283.3s] What do you have in mind?
[2285.2s] Well, you got that skill
[2287.6s] where you can kind of almost disappear
[2291.1s] if I remember correctly.
[2292.8s] You take that step into the ethereal.
[2295.4s] Yeah.
[2296.1s] Yeah.
[2296.6s] You think that's going to be helpful right now?
[2298.4s] Yeah, I'm thinking we're going to need
[2301.3s] a little fun voodoo to take care of these guys.
[2304.4s] So I'm going to roll.
[2306.4s] OK, I rolled a nat 20
[2307.9s] so I guess I stay as Flint.
[2309.9s] You are Flint.
[2311.9s] Poor time to roll a nat 20.
[2313.7s] A super confident version of yourself.
[2316.3s] I guess.
[2316.8s] No, no, buddy.
[2317.4s] You're right.
[2317.8s] I got this.
[2319.0s] Yes.
[2319.6s] OK, I'm going to throw my dwarven thrower
[2322.3s] at the red wizard that's still outside the doors.
[2325.1s] Sure.
[2326.3s] He's running back to you
[2327.9s] so you got advantage on this roll.
[2331.1s] OK.
[2333.7s] Well, first one's an 18
[2334.8s] but you never know.
[2335.4s] I might get that crit again.
[2338.2s] Rolled it under my computer.
[2339.9s] No.
[2340.3s] So OK.
[2341.2s] So the first one is a 28.
[2346.1s] Yeah.
[2348.1s] You mean that almost 30?
[2349.2s] Don't want to assume.
[2350.2s] I got to make sure.
[2351.5s] That's fair.
[2352.3s] We're so fucked if that didn't hit.
[2354.6s] Right.
[2355.9s] So that's 10 damage.
[2357.5s] I'm assuming Flint is like talking out loud.
[2360.1s] Oh, yeah.
[2360.4s] No, he's just a straight up crazy person.
[2362.3s] No, that's good.
[2363.5s] That's good.
[2364.0s] That's good stuff.
[2365.1s] So you two, you see you see Flint like book it.
[2368.3s] Like he's running.
[2369.2s] Like there's no tomorrow.
[2370.3s] And you hear him grumbling as he's running away.
[2373.3s] And then he stops and he has a bit of a confused.
[2377.9s] That should have worked better.
[2379.2s] And then he throws his hammer
[2380.6s] and hits the red wizard in the back
[2382.8s] and it recoils and comes back to him
[2385.4s] as the red wizard is propelled forward closer to the door.
[2388.9s] He's now about 25 feet from the door.
[2394.6s] Should have tried to take out his feet.
[2395.9s] Sorry, guys.
[2396.7s] It is the remaining red wizard's turn
[2399.8s] and he runs through the doors as they slam shut.
[2406.2s] And you hear yelling.
[2409.4s] Well, probably mostly Flint because you're closer.
[2412.3s] You hear yelling from inside.
[2415.5s] What was a fairly bright light
[2417.9s] coming through some of the windows, it gets brighter.
[2423.5s] And the dragons in the air
[2426.0s] and off in the distance, they were incredibly loud.
[2450.0s] Some of the music in today's episode
[2451.5s] is by Kavin McLeod of incompetech.filmmusic.io
[2455.0s] and Scott Buckley at scottbuckley.com.au.
[2458.8s] Sound effects can be found at boomlibrary.com
[2461.8s] and at sirenscape.com.
[2485.0s] Stopping the picture recording.
[2496.8s] Something else happened with the foot getting put in something.
[2499.2s] I know it's amazing.
[2500.6s] We like teed it up so well.
[2507.4s] Horrible.
[2508.0s] That's worse than water.
[2509.5s] Yep, that is 100% worse than water.
[2511.9s] Worse.
[2513.3s] I guess I do both voices, don't I?
[2515.9s] All right, I'm just going to talk to myself here for a sec.
[2518.9s] Hang on.
[2519.7s] Welcome to the club.
[2521.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.